ako sa vola boh? or: how is god called? on my naming of god

important to know to understand the following: in slovak, the literal translation of the phrase asking your name is "how are you called" or "how do you call yourself"? so, that's the kind of phrasing i need to use when i talk about god. god is god, and when i ask about god's name, i know that. it's god, or if i want to use the original hebrew, i could, or i could use what you are supposed to say when you read the hebrew name for god, since you're not supposed to use the actual name. anyway, that's not what i want to talk about, that's just a side note.

so, i know god's name, but what is god called? how do i call god? that is a whole different story. for quite some time now, i have not really known how to call god (sorry for the awkward phrasing, but i can't say i don't know god's name).

first of all, i don't really feel comfortable with/i don't feel like it's right for me calling god god. i think part of this is due to the academic part of my life. i have studied religion, christianity, and the bible and so i think in doing these things (which i have loved doing), god went from being a name like mom, dad, or granny and became instead a label like father, mother, or grandmother. so, for me part of moving away from god as name is because it has become a label and labels bring with them formality, which i don't want in my relationship to god. i want it to be personal.

another reason for my search is due to my hesitancy to use gendered language for god. since both male and female were created in god's image, "god" in hebrew is plural, and i think it's too patriarchal to make god masculine (especially since the holy spirit is technically a feminine noun), among other reasons, i can't just give god a more common gendered name.

for a variety of reasons i also don't like "father." yes, the patriarchy thing (i know, call me a wgst major. i am and i'm proud of that), but also, father is very formal and for me it is not at all conducive to an intimate/meaningful relationship. in addition to that, i have a dad (i know, what a surprise!) and i know there's that whole you have to hate your parents to love god thing that jesus says in one of the gospels, but i've never really connected with that. i mean i know that your parents can't be god for you, but i like my parents, they're good ones, i am not lacking in parents. if i were to call god dad or mom, it would be confusing god and my parents, because you can't call two different people the same name. it confuses people.

so, what does that leave me with? .... exactly, so here's what i've been thinking lately thanks to a recent conversation:

in "the shack" (which i have not finished reading yet, but am technically in the middle of reading), the wife, nan, calls god "papa." now, i don't use papa ever, i call my dad dad or daddy. one thing i am lacking, though, practically speaking are godparents. now go with me on this. for me/my parents, my baptism, was very much a cultural ritual thing (especially seeing as we did it in my grandparents' catholic church and not in vail at our church or anything). my mom's sister and my dad's brother were my god parents,

i'm not positive on the beliefs of one, except that they are not, by any means, your "typical" christian beliefs (even in progressive vail) and the other of which was (once i entered the age where i could talk and walk) mainly just around for christmases. anyway, so i didn't really ever have a "godparent" (in the christian understanding) figure growing up the way many people (especially those that surround me) do.

so, i've decided to try out papa and mama (because my mom is mom or mommy). i feel like they are conducive to intimacy and a comfortable relationship and i can handle the creator god being papa if the holy spirit and perhaps occasionally also the creator god can be mama. jesus is jesus, of course, so that one's easier. anyway, i'm going to try this out and see how i like it.

what about you? how do you call god?