do not hesitate to leave your old ways behind

do not hesitate to leave your old ways behind -
fear, silence, submission

do not hesitate to leave your old ways behind

how many "ways" - traditions, customs, practices, relationships - did i leave behind for this journey? i definitely left my old ways behind when it came to traditions and celebrations. though i hung onto some (getting up before the sun on easter morning), regardless of if they are practiced here or not, i left many traditions behind.

my birthday was celebrated, not with a party, but with birthday corn :) at a kfc in budapest. christmas had more church services than ever before, and time with family, blessing each other and sharing bread (and later dinner). easter involved singing with the rodinky in front of the church and getting doused with water the next day. the traditions have been left behind, but more than that, i have done my best to leave behind:

fear, silence, submission

fear- fear has by and large not been a part of this journey. from the start, there was a peace to the decisions to do yagm and to come to slovakia. even traveling and arriving in vienna (not speaking any german and very little slovak), i was not afraid (granted, sepp and lisa both new a lot and some german and slovak). i knew this was where god wanted me. god was placing me here and god would be with me here. so fear was left behind all the way back in february/march (of 2009) when the journey really got going.

silence- silence is a powerful thing. i have been silenced in my life and i have chosen to silence myself in solidarity with those who are forced into silence (including standing in solidarity with myself). at first it's hard to leave silence behind. when you don't really know the language, what else can you do, except be silent and listen? luckily i had help communicating in both slovak and english. i learned a lot quietly (though not silently), and my voice has been growing in this time. as i come to know my voice, my self, my ideas, my faith more, my voice grows from silence, to barely a whisper, and eventually, i am confident that it will be a voice with which i can boldly speak. sometimes i still have times of silence, but i am working on not letting the silence win.

submission- submission is different from service. submission is being placed under someone more powerful. being forced to comply with the other's every wish or desire. service is placing oneself under someone else. coming to people from a point of learning. i did not come here to silently submit. i came here to serve. occasionally, i do end up in a state of submission, but for the most part, i am here in the spirit of god for service.

i have peace in my place here, as i continue to find my voice in service, but not submission. i am leaving my old ways behind and looking ahead to the new ways to come.

do not hesitate to leave your old ways behind -
fear, silence, submission