do not take time to explain to the neighbors

do not take time to explain to the neighbors.
tell only a few trusted friends and family members.
then begin quickly, before you have had time
to sink back into old slavery.

do not take time to explain to the neighbors.
tell only a few trusted friends and family members.

as much as i tried to explain where i was going and why, it was hard to articulate the true reason i was coming to slovakia. i understand the wisdom in these two lines. when trying to explain to everyone (a necessary part of getting the spiritual, emotional, and financial support i would rely on throughout the year), i found that what was extremely clear when it was originally decided (god was calling me to the yagm program in central europe to work with roma here), became a little foggier each time i had to articulate it.

sometimes i feel like an explanation involving god's will requires some other explanation as well. an explanation that is logical for people. this wasn't the case for everybody, yet i still felt like me saying "i feel god calling me to this place" was not enough. so, though i definitely didn't follow this advice and instead told as many people as possible, there is wisdom in not trying to justify everything to other people. some stuff is just between me and god and if others don't understand those things, i am not responsible for making them understand it all.

then begin quickly, before you have had time
to sink back into old slavery

that i did. i started off and when it came time for each decision, the answer was YES! when i was invited to the discernment retreat (dip), the immediate answer was yes! when i was told i had slovakia or hungary and given time to think, i made myself wait at 24 hours before responding with YES!! each thing that i did involved me making the decision, not consulting others, but feeling and knowing that it was the right decision and following my heart, following god.

once you set out, once you begin, there is no way to go back to where or how you were. once i began this journey and i left home, i knew i would not be the same, i cannot (no matter how hard i could try) go back to how i was before i left. i am different. i am a new creation, every day i have new experiences, every day is a new adventure filled with pain and joy and laughter and tears. each day i change even more. each day i am more sure that i cannot go back to before i came. this is where god has called and placed me and the only way to go is forward. there is no going back, there is no way back to egypt, back to slavery. the red sea has closed behind me and i cannot cross it again.

do not take time to explain to the neighbors.
tell only a few trusted friends and family members.
then begin quickly, before you have had time
to sink back into old slavery.